Treats (versus Treatment) for the Grieving

Prescriptive photomontage for Shirley H

Retelling the story of loss hurts. A normal component of grief recovery, it is often as painful as the loss itself. I remember one widow's words which always stuck with me - perhaps because she was so uninformed of other more art-centered options besides interpersonal psychotherapy, bereavement support groups and anti-depressants.  Sixty-six years of age, this woman had begun treatment 20 years after the death of her husband for complicated grief. In The New York Times article ("After a Death, the Pain That Doesn't Go Away," Sept. 9, 2009), she tells journalist Fran Schumer about her experience of recounting loss: "That was just brutal and I had to relive it. I nearly dropped out, but I knew this was my last hope of getting any kind of functional life back."

However, times appear to be changing. In Ruth Davis Konigsberg's recent article in Time Magazine ("Good News About Grief," Jan 24, 2011), there is a new movement underfoot, re-examining Kübler-Ross's "American Way of Grief," namely:

• expressing your grief by telling your story often and in detail
• grieving in stages, from shock to acceptance, in that order
• accepting mandatory "aftercare services" (a.k.a. bereavement counseling) 

Kübler-Ross's 7 Stages of Grief 

I am a strong believer in resilience, but also in a griever's ability to dream and hope. What if this same patient - in addition to exploring counseling - might also have engaged in creative play, for example, with a prescriptive artist who would have focused her on a new, more hopeful narrative for the future? Who could help her capture the intangible in a metaphorical rather than strictly literal way?
 
Receiving custom artwork under any circumstance is a special treat. Positive visualizations of the future by a prescriptive photomontage artist, for example, are even more of a treat. Why? Because personal photos previously steeped in sadness are given an entirely positive spin, so that they can tell a story of redemption that stars the griever in an epic role - a role where they are no longer The Griever. By "treat," I am talking about both a process and product that refreshingly doesn't look or feel like therapy because it is art fashioned by an artist and not the patient. Art conceived to make the griever feel more whole and less raw in their grief ... without hurting them further.
 
Konigsberg sums up the "New Pessimism" towards grief counseling when she concludes with these words:

"It certainly seems time to move beyond our current habit of using untested theories to create unnecessarily lengthy - and agonizing - models for coping with grief that have created more anxiety about the experience instead of alleviating it."

I couldn't agree more. Bring all options to the table. Just don't forget to reach underneath and pull out that drawer of treats.

A Story Passed Down and Made into a Photograph

It hardly seems possible

What's the Coolest Gift to Give a 20-Something???

What do you get your nephew,
little sister
or 20-something running buddy?

A photo gift that makes them look epic. I'm Nancy Gershman, a digital artist with training in the fine arts, and I can make you a custom photomontage that your 20+ year old can frame, make into a fleece blanket or a photo sculpture.

Here's what you do. Get your hands on your 20-Something's favorite photo from their last vacation. Have them tell you why they love this photo. And what was happening when the photo was taken. Because the cool thing I'm going to do is create a new story that gets its inspiration from another story that's got around in the family. According to Constance's Aunt Cindy, as a little girl, Constance would sneak out her bedroom window. Her mom would notice and then wait underneath her window when Constance would drop out!

So I started with this head shot of Constance.

 Constance loved this vacation photo of herself: tan, with dark sunglasses and a sassy expression. The minute I saw the photo it struck me that I could tilt her head and add the suggestion of a body to give the impression of Constance "flying" over her favorite beach in Antigua.

The other photographs from the same trip to Antigua were a little muddy, like the photo of the Xotic Cafe shack located down the beach. No problem. I did a search for the very same shack, and found another shot at a terrific angle and in sharp, living color!

Much safer than jumping out the window!

I even have a collection of clouds that I tap into every once in a while to make my photomontages look more dynamic. Can you tell which clouds were added and which were already in the photograph of this Antigua beach?

The tethered balloon with flags was another add-on to give the feeling of a refreshing Antigua breeze on the beach. It also picks up all the colors from that crazy shack.

Anybody can throw up photographs side by side in neat frames. But if you can transform a vacation photo into a cool poster -- that's exciting. Especially to young people who have their futures all ahead of them.

Contact me to create a work of art from vacation photos. Email me in my studio, Art For Your Sake. I don't keep banker's hours so you can also call me anytime at 773-255-4677 to reserve your spot.

Photo Collage Portraiture:The Most Meaningful Gift in the World

     

[Jump ahead to find out why these symbols are in Fran and Rick's custom photo collage: a smiley face ping pong ball, an image of the Attaché Motel, a heart made from seaweed, a red MG, a yellow bird in a wine glass cocktail, and a beach in Jamaica]

    Your searching days are over. In my studio Art For Your Sake, I specialize in legacy portraiture not unlike the classical portraits you find in many of the nation's finest portrait galleries. Although they are fine art photomontages collaged together from memories and stories told to me about the subject, they are ambitious attempts to capture the whole person. What was their purpose in life? What was their greatest achievement: their career, family, or a contribution to mankind? What do they want to be remembered for?

Technique. The techniques I use are similar to those Renaissance portraits where the subject is opulently attired holding an object of  religious significance, or representing earthly success and status. Only in my modern-day legacy portraits, meaningful imagery runs the gamut. The objects around the subject, the landscape they stand in, what they are wearing or holding all have special meaning for the subject. For example, in the custom photomontage shown above, Fran is asked for stories about her fairytale courtship with husband Rick:

• They met playing ping pong in the Attaché Motel where Rick lived since he was 8 years old [the motel no longer exists so I turned it into clouds in the sky and also put the motel logo on Rick's t-shirt] 
• When they went to the beach together, they formed a heart out of seaweed
• Rick loved taking Fran for rides in his red MG [I combined 2 photos to create the illusion]
• Fran loved her yellow bird cocktails [see the bird in her glass!] 
• Every year they'd go to Jamaica for vacation

     Now note each of the meaningful objects I put in bold and find them in Fran and Rick's "soulmate dreamscape" (as I call these types of digitally-collaged  portraits). Only instead of chronicling royalty, I am giving significant importance to the infinite details that make up a great love.The end result is a whimsical depiction of an enduring relationship - with slightly surrealistic overtones and a touch of humor.

One-of-a-Kind. The beauty of my fine art photo montages is that each custom digital photo collage is completely custom, made for one person and one person only, using the subject’s own photographs. Seeing photos they "had all this time" turned into pure magic is what makes them reach for the tissue box! Truth be told, the person you're giving the gift to doesn’t even have to be one person; they could be a family or even an organization. Or your custom photo gift could be for a roast, or a retirement party. But one thing is for certain: Dreamscape photo gifts are not only perfect for the person who has everything, but also the person who wants to feel deeply, deeply loved. For this reason, and those to follow, a custom portrait is something that never gets re-gifted - and never adds to the clutter.  

   Now let's take a closer look why creating original artwork from personal photos makes such a winning gift.

Affordable. My custom collage portraits are affordable for one reason and one reason only: it’s a cinch to convince others to go in on a meaningful gift. If all you’ve got in your budget is $40, $50 or $60 to spend, three or four friends or siblings or cousins will be happy to chip in to buy something especially thoughtful for your Special Someone. One look at their portrait, and this person will be thrilled that you did all the legwork to find such a great Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, roast, anniversary or birthday gift idea. And their friends and family will be even happier that you came up with the idea of starting a collection for this unique custom photo gift so that their contribution towards a quality gift could be so affordable. (Example: Fran and Rick's gift cost only $288 because their children gave it as a group gift.)

Expensive-looking. Fine art always looks expensive. Why? According to WIKIPEDIA, fine art is the opposite of "shallow, superficial and excessively sentimental." In other words, fine art is not kitsch. When you commission a custom photo collage portrait from my studio, I treat each assignment as if I’m making a museum-worthy work of art. Everything I make, I make with the same loving attention I give to the pieces that go into my exhibitions (see my solo show at The Loyola University Museum of Art). What's super special about these digital photo collages is that an artist is telling extraordinary stories about your loved one by turning ordinary personal photographs into extraordinary ones. Very often I add imagery from my own photography collection to enhance the story-telling, again, with meaningfulness.

   Here's how Fran described Rick's reaction to his custom photomontage:

"We had a surprise party for Rick. The kids got up to speak and then he saw it, but you know, he didn’t see it. Only after everybody went home and he sat down and looked at the details, did he start to realize what everything was. He’s not emotional at all, but this -- he was really touched by it. First by the picture of us sitting on his MG (which you created out of two photos). Then The Attaché. It brought back so many good memories!" 

     That's why I always start with a little conversation about the vision of the piece before you email or snail me photos. So call me!

 Contact Nancy Gershman at 773-255-4677.

Or email Nancy at nancy@artforyoursake.com

Let Me Photo Collage You and Your Valentine as Little Kids

Blow her mind this Valentine's Day. Or his. Have me make you a custom, fine art photomontage from you and your sweetheart's childhood photos for just $88. I call this amazing made-to-order photo gift a "Soulmate Dreamscape".

STEP 1: This is the big idea. In this artistic photo collage, I will take two completely separate pictures of you and your girlfriend - when you were little - and make you look like you met as kids.

To achieve this illusion, I first need you to think about the two of you as you are now. What are the biggest things you and your wife have in common? If you and your partner have a great sense of humor, we can even have more fun with our concept:

• What games or sports do you both love to play? Or hate to play?
• What relaxes you both? Or what scares the heck out of the two of you?
• What sweet things are you always doing for each other? Or what vices do you indulge in?
  

STEP 2: Collect pictures of you and your sweetheart as little kids, as relative in age as you can get them. The more the merrier because we have to find pictures of the two of you whose facial expressions match the story we're going to tell in your Soulmate Dreamscape.

STEP 3: If you find lots of photographs but are not sure about the story you want to tell in your creative photo collage, let's brainstorm together. (In fact, let's do this after you've sent me your photos.) Most of my customers say they like having a professional digital artist take a look at the photographs beforehand because we're trained to see how different photographic elements will combine together.)

Mail me your old pictures or have them scanned at an office supply store like Office Depot, OfficeMax or at a FedEx Kinkos. Then send them to me digitally to nancy@artforyoursake.com. Once I receive your photographs, I'll help you come up with the perfect scenario for this unique Valentine's Day photo collage portrait.

STEP 4: I’ll digitally extract your kid bodies from your photos and place you and your darling into a brand new background that either you supply, or I suggest ... and you approve.

STEP 5: If you like the idea of putting your kid faces on entirely new bodies that fit the story, I can do that too. As you can see in the examples of Rasha and Bassel seated before a magnificent pyramid, they wanted to be in wedding outfits and were very specific about what they were looking for. The cost of adding each new body? Just $40/image and at that price, I will happily do all the necessary photo research to dig up a great outfit for you and your sweetheart for not another penny!

STEP 6: If you want to add a little extra magic to your digital photo montage, think about adding a 4th image for just another $40. This could be something dynamic , like something you could be holding, or throwing into the air, or which could be hovering above your heads. Something which has special meaning for your spouse and better half.

Often new customers will write me: "But what if I don't like it?" You should know my reputation is built upon the promise to work on your personalized photo collage until you absolutely love it! And besides: 99% of the time my clients say to me: "How did you know what I wanted before I knew?"

So you see, in just a few easy steps an artist for hire can make you a beautiful, affordable piece of artwork that can be popped right into an 8 x 10 vertical or horizontal frame. The cost of putting three images together? Just $88. And all retouching and restoration (unless your photos are very, very damaged) is included in my price!
Let Art For Your Sake whip up a meaningful photo gift for you this Valentine's Day. Down to the wire? My rush charges are affordable too: an additional 10% of your order. Call Nancy Gershman at 773-255-4677 (CST) or email me at nancy@artforyoursake.com.

Why my Fantasy Photo Collages Fulfill an Aging Parent's Dreams

Albert's fantasy fulfilled.

Total photos supplied by family: 2

Let’s just say your dad is a lot like Albert: a humble maverick. A lawyer for almost six decades, running five times for judge, Fate has something else in store for Albert. And being the great probate lawyer he is, Albert continues to do what he does best, conscientiously and uncomplainingly as ever.

But all this time, his son's been paying attention. What kind of fortitude, energy and creativity must it have taken for Dad to run a campaign five times and "never make it"? Is there something I could do for Dad to make everything alright in the end? Could I maybe make him a judge after all...

At Retirement, One Last Unfulfilled Wish

The thing is, we can fulfill an aging parent's dream any time we want. We can make their dreams come true at retirement, on their birthday, for Xmas or for Hanukkah. All it takes to make this photo collage fantasy gift is a powerful story, locating a few well chosen pictures of your subject (or having them pose for you without having a clue), and a couple of convincing props from my own bag of tricks.

As a professional portrait artist, I've seen all kinds of dreams fulfilled: the father who wanted to win the Congressional Medal of Honor; the mother who wished she'd become a nurse. Sometimes these dreams are tucked down so deep in a retiree’s soul, that they're convinced they're well beyond it. Others will pine for what was not to be, or curse the day their dream derailed. But then, out of the blue, there it is, their wishful reality on paper, big as life.

Does it embarrass the aging parent and make them mad? Amazingly, no, because, you see, it's a gift of love. You'd be surprised how the majority of retiring parents are thrilled to see their adult children knew them better than they knew themselves! Even more amazing is how these aging moms and dads are touched by the positive way everybody else reacts to their fantasy collage gift. Here's what Albert said after we created his special order photo collage:

“I like just the entire thing – it makes people kinda laugh. They enjoy it.”

Expand Dad’s Fantasy into a Full-Blown Fantasy Collage

In Albert's case, the request by his son was to turn Dad into a full-blown Supreme Court justice. But there was something else driving this custom order photo collage. Albert's son couldn't put out of his mind how Dad had reacted to one particular decision the Supreme Court made that they really shouldn’t have, which ended up having disastrous consequences. Albert explains:

"We were all pro-Gore at the time, and didn’t like the idea that the Supreme Court entered the picture at all. They had no right getting involved on a State, let alone a Federal level. That was the year 2000, when the Supreme Court voted 5 to 4, exactly the opposite of how I voted. So in the photomontage my son made for me, they’re applauding my dissenting vote.”

How Good Sons and Daughters Can Earn Brownie Points

In this piece of wishful reality we created for Albert, Dad not only became a full-fledged Supreme Court justice. We also surrounded him by all his role models dating back to the early 20th century: William Douglas, Earl Warren, Felix Frankfurter and Hugo Black, Benjamin Cardozo, William Howard Taft,Thurgood Marshall and Sandra Day O'Connor. Albert’s reaction?

"My son, he’s a very smart guy to pick out the good judges, whether they voted for Gore or not. And he put me in the middle as Chief Justice. The gavel? It shows after 57 years, I’m in charge.“

Your Photos Combined into an Epic Photo Collage

In this custom photo collage roast by Nancy Gershman, a brother and sister spar

over the innocence of OJ Simpson. Total photos supplied by family: 4

So you want to make an artistic photo gift. You have all kinds of objects, buildings, people and pets to insert into your photomontage. But what's the epic story you want to tell? In what kind of a landscape will all these things go? The epic story is what gives your photo gift that really creative z-i-n-g. But where on earth do you find an artist who combines many pictures into an epic photo collage? An artist you can talk to personally, rather than ticking off a bunch of checkboxes in a shopping cart?

Forget "artistic service companies" if you want a custom photo gift that makes everyone do a double take. Instead, find yourself a visual storyteller like me, schooled in digital photo manipulation, who specializes in nothing else but special order, custom photo collages. In my studio Art For Your Sake I listen; I conceptualize; and then I wow you with ideas for an epic story.

The first step in making an epic collage is concocting a story that stars the person you're giving the photo collage to. It's about turning that family member or sweetheart into a hero of epic proportions. And it all starts with ordinary photos taken right from your photo CDs and picture albums. But they can also be photos you stage right at home with a digital camera. In fact, if you're a smooth talker, your subject doesn't even have to know that you’re posing them to fit right into their own photographic collage. The idea is to make your final digital photo collage look like somebody just snapped the picture and everything in the picture was already there. Here's how I do it.

What Pictures Work Best in a Photo Collage?

Take the case of Roy and his sister, Jenniesther. These siblings have been in a jesting feud about the OJ Simpson decision since 1995. Each thinks the other is totally wrong. Jenniesther has even gone so far as to dream up a special punishment for Roy if OJ's ever proven guilty (he’ll be forced to eat chocolate). Roy, likewise, has his own punishment for Jenniesther if OJ's ever proven innocent a second time around (she’s got to eat Flipper or some other exotic meat).

In Jenniesther's words:

"I used to joke with Roy, about OJ being Roy’s hero. For 15 years Roy’s been obsessed by OJ’s innocence. He followed the trial religiously. He’s convinced that OJ is set up. I believe OJ is guilty as sin."

So all Roy and I had in the beginning was this kernel of an idea: to make his sister a one of a kind birthday gift in the form of a roast about OJ. The way we started thinking about this photo collage creation was to imagine it as a play, with real props, players and good scene design. Creating the players came first, with Roy posing for somebody while his kids snapped his picture.

Next came Roy posing his sister and her dogs and then snapping her picture -without Jenniesther ever knowing what it really was for.

How Do You Create Wishful Reality?

Props came second. The photo collage illusion for this Legal Battle would involve two opposing armies, one pro-OJ and one anti-OJ. The prop list included:

• A pro-OJ button on Roy's lapel


• Under Roy’s arm, a lawyer’s briefcase stuffed with briefs


• Behind Roy an army of pro-OJ demonstrators with identical placards depicting a smiling OJ


• Roy's own son and daughter waving pro-OJ signs they made themselves


• Jenniesther wearing an anti-OJ T-shirt


• Next to Jenniesther, one dog chewing up a pro-OJ placard


• Behind Jenniesther, two anti-OJ placards made out of a Newsweek cover


• A giant Hershey bar ready for Roy to eat when he loses, and


• The courthouse from The Back to the Future movie set sitting in the background to set the scene

In fact, that courthouse was one of the most intriguing props in our epic collage. Jenniesther later told me:

"I knew I’d seen that courthouse before, but couldn’t figure out from where. It was killing me; it looked so familiar!!"

In the end, all Roy had to provide me, the photo collage artist, were 4 photos: one of himself, one of his kids, one of his sister, and another close up of the dogs on a tight leash! The rest of the illusion would be supplied by me.

Is An Artistic Photo Collage Affordable?

Absolutely. A fine art digital masterpiece is affordable but only if you know the secret to keeping the costs low. If your digital artist charges by the image as I do (at $9-40/image), the trick is providing me with photos taken all around the same time, in the same lighting conditions. This way I can use multiple images from multiple shots you've taken for your digimontage (e.g. Roy, his kids, Jenniesther, the dogs) but charge you for only one photo. Four photos counted as one; that's a bargain!

You also want a digital artist that doesn’t charge you full price for cloned images (i.e., one image repeatedly used in the artwork, such as the pro-OJ placards). In my studio, I charge only in the single digits for multiple clones, so the total price ends up being nominal.

Not All High Quality Photo Collages are Epic

Can a photo collage design and printing service come up with a conceptual idea like this? Would they spend time finding you the exact kind of historical photos you need for your concept, without charging you an arm and a leg? Would an artistic service company automatically take it upon themselves to restore, retouch or augment your photos if the photos need the work, without charging you extra? Not likely. Photo collage design and printing services are there to "assemble" or "arrange" your photos into high quality photo collage compositions, but their ideas are going to look generic because they rely heavily on stock photos. I don't.

For a high quality collage to be epic, you need a Curator, Photoshop Expert and Art Director all rolled into one. That's because an epic collage is really about good storytelling. The more convincing the reality, the more likely the person on the receiving end is going to feel like Jenniesther:

"I was thunderstruck. I stared at it. And stared it. I could see all these different scenes blended into one. What a creation! I couldn't believe somebody could create a story about us."

Let me dream up an epic photo collage for someone you love. Call Nancy Gershman at 773-255-4677 or email me at nancy@artforyoursake.com.

When Your Newborn Dies, Hug Their Custom Photocutout

(Figure 1. Kari-Ruth in Intensive Care ) (Figure 2. Kari-Ruth re-envisioned as a "Lost Baby" photo sculpture)

Even after Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and the seven stages of dying; the establishment of umpteen grief and loss support groups; the politically correct funeral home pamphlets - good people still don’t know what to say to a grieving mother. Oddly enough, what people think is the wrong thing to do (like bringing up the subject) is exactly what the mother pines for. You see, a grieving mother is bursting to talk about losing her baby, even in the face of everyone wishing the day would just erase itself from the calendar.

All this may change, though, with a miraculous, three-dimensional photocutout a mother can give herself, or others can give to the mother. I call it “A Lost Baby.” How these precious personalized photocutouts came to be, how they are teaching etiquette to family, friends and strangers, and how they are connecting mothers with their lost babies, days or even decades after their deaths is at the heart of this story.


Why Photograph A Seriously Ill or Lifeless Baby?

It all begins with a baby in the making 35 years ago; a baby who came into this world and left without a trace - without a photo or even a name on the death certificate (a form of denial at the time, says his mother, Gae-Lynne). If a name was picked out, it evaporated at the sound of her husband’s words, ‘Our baby has died.’ His little body was given to the hospital for study, so there is not even a cemetery plot with his headstone on it.

Gae-Lynne can still hear those words, and they don’t make any more sense today than they did back then. One thing she knows for sure is that she had a “fourth son” who today is very much a part of her life and the life of his brothers. Even the youngest grandchildren know about Baby Stewart and often ask questions about the Boy Who Would Be Uncle. She brings him up in conversation because, well, he’s part of the family history. No question, Gae-Lynne has come a long way since those first two decades, when his short life was not even a subject fit for conversation.

Thirty-five years ago, Gae-Lynne had to beg the nurses to let her see her baby. She asked again and again, and each time was refused. “You don’t want to see him, Mrs. Stewart, ”The baby’s started to turn gray.” Gae-Lynne knows she could have seen past his coloring and seen only his beauty. For seeing him would have made him ‘real’. And oh, how she wished she had a hospital bracelet or a lock of hair, a tangible other than that death certificate.

Today, hospitals routinely let grieving Moms and Dads hold their little ones, bathe and dress them. If the parents don’t take pictures, the nurses do. Sometimes the parents don’t want to take those pictures home after their baby has died, so the hospital puts them in the baby’s records. Once their grief is further along, the parents return to pick up the pictures, or for that lock of hair.


The First “Lost Baby”

The very first Lost Baby I created was for Ruth Brown. It is a photo sculpture of her daughter, Kari-Ruth, fashioned from a dreamscape I made for her. The photo on which it is based is Kari-Ruth lying deathly ill from a brain tumor in her incubator, with breathing tube plainly visible.

Fast forward 15 years, and hospitals are now feeling comfortable about having cameras in the intensive care unit. On the third day of Kari-Ruth’s life, when the prognosis looked grim, Ruth’s husband Randy was encouraged to shoot an entire roll of film of his daughter. Ruth brought in a tiny dress for Kari-Ruth to wear.

Ruth Brown pasted those photos into an album she kept tucked away for years with all the other baby books of her children. But taking it out just made her sad until July of 2007, when she came across a company called Photocutouts.com. Ruth became enthralled about the idea of making custom photo cutouts of all her children to stand on the piano. Al, who makes these personalized photo sculptures, suggested three options to Ruth. He could cut out the picture as is. He could ask a photo restorer to use Photoshop® technology to remove the tube and restore her face. Or he could ask me, a digital artist specializing in custom therapeutic photomontages, to "dreamscape" the photo into a custom photo collage before he makes it into a photo-sculpture. Ruth chose the dreamscaping option.

It was very important to us both that the final image (which would be publicly displayed) find the right balance between camouflaging the unpleasantries and being careful not to squelch the opportunity for tender questions to the mother.

How many days did Kari-Ruth live? What did she die of? What was it like slipping on that beautiful dress, knowing Kari-Ruth would never live to see the picture?

I began by lifting Kari-Ruth into a wishful reality that lays her down on a grassy field that seems to flow right through her wicker basket. On her ankle, I left the hospital bracelet. And quivering over her tiny lips, I placed a butterfly that matches her polka dot dress. The object here was to let the butterfly and the bracelet relay what words could not … that this dreamscape puts the focus squarely on Kari-Ruth and her beautiful life, however short and sweet, instead of on her struggle to live.


Hug a Personalized Photocutout?

When Ruth saw her daughter in that basket and at peace, she told me her heart just melted. She hugged her Lost Baby to her heart and told me: “I never saw my baby in any other setting but in the hospital. Seeing Kari-Ruth outdoors made it kind of a fun picture.” This is true of course; each mother perceives something totally different in her child's dreamscape. In another mother’s hands, the same scene might be spiritual, conveying that her baby is in heaven. To a more pragmatic mother, her baby is "flowing with time." Always though, the custom photo collage artist is a kind of healer.

You see, the grieving mother can’t bear to glance at the original photos. They’re often just too loaded with sorrow and failure rather than the pure soul of the child. Yet if an artist masters an effect where the scene is not only wholesome but transformational and magical, it makes everyone’s eyes light up: the mother, her friends and family, really anyone who sees it on the mantle. Which brings me back to the etiquette of grief, and the courage of such women.

Before Ruth Brown discovered our work with Lost Babies, remember how she was planning to display Kari-Ruth's hospital photo, as is, on the piano? And remember how Gae-Lynne would have liked to do the same, but had no photo? It’s worth noting that both mothers believed the same thing: namely that mothers are proud of their children – all their children - the ones that lived and the one that died. As a mother myself, I too have come to understand that a mother’s pride begins when her child is thriving in her womb. That surge of hormones and nutrients flowing back and forth is as valid as making cookies or going shopping together. For some, it’s the only time they'll ever spend together.

The moral of the story being when a hospital photo is all the memory you have of your stillborn or dying child, I believe it’s ok for the custom photo collage artist to start there with capturing the interior life of that child.


Personalized Photo Collages vs. Photo-Sculptures

Sure, you could frame the hospital photo. Or you could frame the dreamscape. But Al and I discovered that there are two big benefits for creating a 3-dimensional version of the custom photocutout:

A Lost Baby opens a door. A grieving mother’s deepest fear is that she’s going to forget she ever had a baby who died because everyone around her wants her to "get over it." This happens because people think bringing up the subject upsets the mother. But when a Lost Baby is displayed proudly next to its siblings, anyone who comes into your home knows immediately that once upon a time there was another baby. It urges us to ask the good questions like: “Oh, who’s this picture of?” The Lost Baby does it all, with grace and beauty.

A Lost Baby makes the baby’s birth seem more real. Maybe it’s because you can literally hug a Lost Baby if you want to. Would we hug a photo that's in a frame behind glass with sharp corners? Not likely. We’d probably do what we always do: peer intently at the frame, step back, cry, and never touch it. A Lost Baby photosculpture also feels more substantive; it's thicker and curved to follow the shape of the object, which is your baby! So of course, you’re inclined to want to hold it.

A Birthday Photo Gift for Your Lost Baby

Only when Gae-Lynne sat down and read a first person account about another women’s stillborn baby five years after her own baby’s death, did she realize the universal need for women to talk about their grief and loss. And guess what was the biggest epiphany of all? That even if you lost a baby, you’re still a mother! In fact, after that, she felt like writing “Ode to Grieving Mothers Everywhere”:

Did you go through a pregnancy? And through labor?
Did you buy your baby a crib, toys and outfits? Special linens, towels and spoons?
Did you have plans for your baby, just like everyone else?
Did your baby look like a little angel?

Then you’re a mother, darn it, and you’re due a celebration!

After all the cards, flowers and casseroles, it’s up to you, Mommy, to keep the conversation alive. When the first anniversary of your baby’s birth comes around, celebrate the two of you.

In the weeks preceding the anniversary, stand your Lost Baby photocutout in a busy spot in the house, where everybody can see it and say hi as they pass by. On the anniversary, light some candles and make a toast with your husband or partner, girlfriend or sister. If the spirit moves you, go ahead and say, “Wow, what a beautiful baby.” If you’re the concerned husband or girlfriend or sister, go ahead and say something like, “Oh, what a cute dress you put on her.” Or “She was just perfect, wasn’t she?” because these are the things a mother loves to hear. These are the things she’s dying to talk about.

So tell me, if anything was possible, both artistically or technically, and you miscarried or lost your baby. If all you had left of the experience was a hospital photo:

• What would you do with your deceased child's hospital photo?
• Would you display it, as a photo, somewhere publicly, where it could be seen by all?
• Would you transform it into a 3-D photosculpture, or
• Would you do something entirely different with your deceased child's hospital photo?

Recommended reading: Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy by Pam Vredevelt

Thank Sponsors with a Custom Photo Collage Recognition Award

Custom photo collage recognition award commissioned by Special Olympics Atlanta for Publix.

In addition to the four Special Olympic images collaged together, the sky, stadium

floor and filled-to-capacity bleachers were added in by the artist.

Say, you’re the Director of Marketing & Special Events. Or you’re in Philanthropy or the Development Department and in a couple of months you’ll be wrapping up your big annual event. How will you thank your corporate sponsors? You’d love to find something that looks expensive, but isn't -- something that will stand out from all the look-alike awards we see all the time sitting inside a company's Glass Case of Achievement.

Does anybody ever really stop and study a football or bowling trophy? Naaah. The last guy who took a closer look was the guy who won the trophy. As for those walnut boards with the brass engraved plates – maybe they satisfy requirement number one in terms of the shiny brass, but none even come close to meeting requirement number two: artistic design.

Fine Art in a Made-to-Order Award
This is where the magic of a custom photo collage award comes in. Remember the photographer you hired to take candids the day of your sponsored event? Remember how much fun everybody’s having in those pictures? The only problem is, 9 out of 10 photos show people having lots of fun, but one third of those photos are spoiled by somebody scratching their nose or somebody else running in front of the camera.

What if you had an artist cut out the best parts of each photo, optimizing them in terms of color saturation and sharpness and then seamlessly combining all these elements into One Perfect Print? And even if there were missing elements, say an upbeat, blue sky for example, the artist could just retro fit it in! In the end, you’d have an awesome memento with everything your sponsor could possibly want, caught in a single take:

• Performers caught in unforgettable attitudes
• Crowds brimming with excitement
• Your sponsor’s corporate banner fluttering perfectly in the breeze

Good Feelings, Good PR
When a made-to-order recognition award is composed of pictures, what a difference thT makes. Suddenly a newsworthy photograph of a sponsor's special day is elevated into fine art, and it rivets their attention. The custom photo collage award starts to have real personal meaning for the recipient.

There’s another reason why custom photo collage is such a powerful corporate thank-you gift. It’s great PR. Think about every visitor who will pass your sponsor's Wall of Achievement and spy your award hanging there. Nothing quite catches the eye (and the heart) of a visitor like a photograph, and that translates into good corporate relations.

Framed Prints or Photo Sculpture?

Whether you decide to frame your custom photo collages awards or give them as 3-dimensional photo cutouts, either way your thank you gift will stand out from the pack.

You see, if a wall plaque is 3-dimensional, then custom photo collage cutouts are 4-dimensional - the fourth dimension being emotion. At the awards ceremony, the minute you present your custom collage gift and say, Mr. Sponsor, without you, none of this would ever have been possible ... well, everybody is going to be in tears, including the Board of Directors. A brilliantly conceived photo collage award says more about an event, winner, program, donor, or milestone than anything off the shelf.

Next time you’re planning an awards ceremony and want to do something special for the sponsors of the event, think about this:

• Why not have a digital artist combine the best parts of your event photos into a single collage gift that looks like a professional photographer took the picture (and not just like an unsophisticated photo puzzle)?
• Why not make a 3-D photocutout of this wonderful photomontage made by a digital artist, instead of stuffing all my event photos inside one giant costly frame that will look awful in the sponsor's boardroom?

To get your sponsor photomontages in time for the awards ceremony, contact me, Nancy Gershman, at 773-255-4677 or email me at Nancy@artforyoursake.com.

Change Somebody's Life with a Custom Fantasy Photo Collage

In this custom Mother's Day portrait by Nancy Gershman,
a sparring mother and daughter are de-clawed with a little humor.

Shrinks listen to our hit lists and wish lists, and then note our sorry habits and patterns. Architects ask us to describe our dream house and then watch how we really use our space. Interior designers ask us whose lifestyle we envy, and then study the magazines we read. What's this say about humans? We can't really see ourselves; we don't often know what's good for us; and according to these professionals, we're not alone in our misery and wants.
We yearn for quick fixes which are enduring, and that's why we go to professionals.

Not only have they seen it all. But professionals offer something priceless: the professional distance to see our lives with 20-20 hindsight. When they encourage us to talk about our hopes and dreams, they allow us to be children again. With their solutions and suggestions, they let us try on new looks without the risk of making a misstep that we’ll  regret later. 

Change Your Luck with Custom Wishful Reality
Just as there’s a professional for sprucing up our personal space, our wardrobe, and our choices in life partners, did you know there’s also a professional for our inner well-being and our outlook on life? She's called a Memory Decorator: a custom photomontage artist who creates (custom) fantasy photo collage gifts. She'll sit down with you and your photos and ask for the back story on each one. The more you tell her about all the negatives (like regrets), and all the positives (like secret dreams), the better read she'll get on what kind of a wishful reality you want in the form of your digital photo collage.

Better yet, she's a professional with humor in her arsenal. She'll employ irony, symbolism, exaggeration -- anything that will move you over from the negative to the positive.

So here's an example of what she does. If there was something you could change about your life, what would it be? Is it a better relationship between you and your mother? Tell this digital artist, and she'll repurpose your personal photos, adding backdrops and meaningful objects from her own photography. With a new and improved reality in the form of a custom photomontage, you get a new lease on life -- not just in the past, but in the present and future too! Your life becomes a work of art: impossibly real, fantastical, and empowering every time you pass it by.

So think about this:

• Are you (or someone you know) pining for peace in the family? Are you tired of all the stress and the bickering?
• Have you just experienced the loss of a loved one, and feel like a piece of you is missing?
• Has a friend ever (secretly) divulged a dream they've held onto after years of regrets?
• Do you want to feel hopeful again - without cosmetic surgery, changing jobs or moving to a new city? Without spending thousands on a new wardrobe or renovated kitchen?

If all you had to do to change your life was have a digital artist play with your photos until you have a brand new past, present and future, would you do it?
Sure. Why not? Eveline and Ilse finally called a truce after receiving this Mother's Day photomontage.

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Hire a Real Artist to Make Your Personalized Photo Collage

Eleven photos from Curtis's family collaged together by digital

artist Nancy Gershman and then set against a brand new sky.

Behind every artistic product is an artistic mind, not a web-based graphic service advertising "personalized collage art." Look a little closer and you’ll see that what these services are actually promising are art effects, not art.

If you want original, custom artwork and not a stock photo image you've seen on somebody's coffee mug, stick with real artists, not designers paid to offer off-the-shelf effects with photo collage or mosaic-making software. Employees, afterall, are not paid to be artists who think freely, out of the box. That's why you want to find a digital artist for hire who can:

• critically select photographs on the basis of quality, not quantity
• extract elements, re-juxtaposing them for aesthetic/conceptual reasons
• give special thought to hierarchies of lighting and scale
• search for fresh images for geographical/historical accuracy
• inject meaningfulness and a goal into the artistic composition

Digital Artists Who Do Art For Your Sake

Let's say you want a custom photo collage made from your personal photos. You've got three options. If you go to a graphic service company, they'll take your order (as long as it’s listed in their website drop-down menu of special effects). If you go to an artist who only does art for art's sake, they'll want you to leave them alone so they can create their own idea of what's art (but at your expense, and in their own sweet time).

But if you're lucky enough to find a digital artist who takes commissions - who does art for your sake, you're in business! She'll ask you questions that go above and beyond the call of duty:

Is there a special message you want to convey? Or a take-away impression you want to leave with the person you're making it for? Should the collage concentrate on the past, present or future, or all three? What about adding some wishful reality to the piece, creating a landscape that’s rich in meaning? Do I have permission to look for a better backdrop that would make your images really pop?

The digital artist for hire who creates custom artwork for your sake is serious about the images she selects and combines for you, because she is always raising the bar for herself and the art world. Commissioning an artist specializing in custom photo collage to make you a personalized photo collage portrait or custom photo gift is kind of like hiring a world class artist, photographer, curator and confidante, rolled into one.

Is Hiring a Custom Photo Collage Artist Costly?

When it comes to personalized digital photomontage, my advice is to always hire an artist who 1) has a considerable digital photo collage portfolio; 2) who takes the time to look at your photos and talk with you before you take out your credit card, and 3) who lets you pay in installments if you have to.

Then when you're ready to order your personalized collage gift like a portrait or a popout made from your photos, it may cost you a touch more, but your labor of love is going to be worth a fortune!

To get an idea of what I mean by artistic photo collage, stop by my online studio, Art For Your Sake. Or let's brainstorm over the phone: 773-255-4677.

Custom Photo Collage as a Tasteful Sympathy Gift

A custom photo collage of Carly where she appears to have achieved
everything she ever wanted to accomplish in acting and fashion.

What do you give a grieving friend or relative who doesn't seem to be springing back from their loss?

Alone with their thoughts in between your visits and phone calls, depressed individuals are asking themselves heart-wrenching questions like:

• Why me?
• What’s there to live for?
• Why am I still alive?

For someone who hurts physically, mentally and spiritually, you need a sympathy gift that's more than a gesture. You need a gift that speaks to the unhappy person in your absence, nudging them back into the world of the living by stimulating their imagination. In a word: wishful reality through therapeutic photomontage.

This unique art form nurtures wellness through idealization. The custom photomontage artist listens to the stories behind your photos and then creates a custom work of art that acts like a soothing dream. Fabricated from personal photos and the artist's own photography, the resulting custom artwork is nothing less than transformational. Everything in the final print looks completely real as if all the objects, people and places in the picture were there from the very beginning … only they’ve been deliberately put there by the artist:

• to evoke new memories, rather than stir up longing and regrets,


• to give an alternate ending to the past, and


• to create the illusion of completion or closure

Where does one find a custom collage artist to make personalized healing artwork? So-called personalized sympathy gifts abound, but most are off-the-shelf items that offer engraving of initials or a place to slip in a photo. But for someone who is greatly pained by looking at the photo of a deceased loved one, this really isn't the best option.

But … if you are lucky enough to find a website dedicated to healing artwork or custom memorials, your best bet is checking if there are healing artists mentioned on their Resources or Links pages. One such resource - Art For Your Sake - is my studio. I specialize in custom wishful reality for both celebration and healing; such as custom sympathy gifts or personalized memorial gifts or artistic memorial portraits.

With such a meaningful gift in hand, your thoughtfulness should work wonders.

Precious Photo Gift Idea to Buy for Your Adoptive Mom

A healing dreamscape featuring Liz’s biological mother (upper right as an adult)

and in B/W (as a young woman). Liz's adoptive parents hang on a wall (above the Easter basket).

I have this belief. When adopted kids are all grown-up with kids of their own, I believe true maturity blossoms - maturity that allows them to finally put their teenage angst and abandonment issues behind them and see their adoptive mom for who she really is. Their mom.

These days, the p.c. thing is for adoptive moms to present their child with a scrapbook that traces their adoption journey when their child is deemed "ready" (something that's occurring at an ever more tender age.) I propose doing it the other way around. Why not have the adult daughter or son give their adopted mom a personalized photo collage gift that traces their adoptive mother's love, from before you were even born to the adult child you are today! Give it to her on Mother's Day, when you've been a parent yourself for a couple of years and know what it means to bond with your child.

Not long ago, I created a custom photo collage for a biological mom to give to her daughter, showing her the many things she had in common with her daughter, down to the way they wore their hair, or the many Celtic and Polish connections that flowed through their lives by birth or marriage. The photo collage also paid its respects to the parents who raised Liz. In a 19th century Polish kitchen that anchors the photo collage, I hung a photo of Liz's adoptive parents' from a little peg, highlighting their faces in a warm light.

Since making that custom photomontage, I've thought many times that one day Liz will make her adoptive mom a present as well. For now, the photomontage is seen through the lense of Liz's biological mother. I believe every adoptive mom would relish a photo gift celebrating the sacrifices they made to find you, the love of their life. You might even want to accompany your photo gift with a letter or poem where you can pour out all the feelings you never gave voice to before. The voice that answers those nagging worries of the adoptive mom, like:

• Am I a good parent?
• Does my daughter know how much I love her?
• Am I putting up with her nonsense some days, only because I'm scared of what she's really feeling?

Make Mom a Heroic Photo Collage Gift

Here's how I would get started on a heroic Mother's Day photo gift for your adoptive moms:

1. Interview your mom about your adoption and the journey to find you. Type while she's talking or turn on a digital tape recorder. Use photographs to help jog her memory. Ask her how she felt, how she fought for you, and where she got the courage to do the things she did.
2. Collect the photos the agency or orphanage clipped to your file from the very beginning.
3. Grab any maps to these faraway places. Identify with arrows exactly where she found you. Embellish the page with her plane tickets.
4. Make a copy of every form Mom personally filled out and tear out the portions where you see her handwriting.
5. Find the first photos where she holds you in her arms, as well as the best pictures of the two of you at every point in your life up till now.

Now here's the important part. Enlist a talented digital artist to incorporate all these photos into a beautiful non-linear photo collage or dreamscape.

If you have some concerns about how to pull this off, read my FAQs --

Q: What if I don't have a great photograph of the two of us together at that point in time?
A: A really good digital artist can take entirely different photos and seamlessly combine them as if everybody was already there and somebody snapped the picture!

Q: What if I can’t find any pictures of Mom at the orphanage in China or Russia?
A: With amazing picture-sharing sites like Flickr and WebShots, a digital artist can track down photographs from the most obscure spots in the world, and ask permission from the photographer to use them in your custom photo collage for a small fee, or no fee at all!

I promise that as you go through the process of tracing your mother’s love, you will become the Family Historian and Guardian Angel. And when you present your personalized photo gift on Mother’s Day, you’re going to walk on water. But then again, you always did, and always will.

Healing Artwork for a Death Bed Refresh

Four pictures of Lyuba plus one chimpanzee

collaged together in an apple orchard.

You can love a person to their last dying day, and still not want to remember a thing about their dying. That's normal. It's also a fact that we have little control over memory. The shock of watching a person leave this world for the next seems to engrave itself on our very subconscious.

A year ago, I started to work with a family where the grandmother was beginning a steady physical decline: portly in her 60s, 70s and 80s she was now sunken and frail. Yet even before this physical decline, Lyuba’s family saw a creeping negativity begin to color her features and knit her brows. “I’m not an idiot,” she’d say. “I know what you’re up to.” If Lyuba was in slightly better spirits, she’d call her daughter-in-law a Petty Sadist, or an “Artistka” (as in con artist).

For a pediatrician who loved castor oil and the miracle cures in her Russian language health magazine, Lyuba now was a guarded patient who wouldn’t take her medicine. Why should she? She had seniority over most of her doctors. Of course, she knew better how her body would process the dose ….

In the last week of Lyuba’s life, when low caloric intake reduced her body to sinew, her grandson came to say goodbye. To make a record of her life, he took photos of everything in her apartment. The very last picture he took of his grandmother was from her bedroom doorway. What you see is a kind of tent: someone in bed with their knees pulled up under the sheets. Behind the knees to the right is Lyuba’s face tilted upwards, her mouth open in a dark, shapeless maw. Two days later when the phone call came, Lyuba’s 56 year old son came to supervise the ambulance attendant and give comfort to the caregiver. What his son recorded on film is more or less what he saw too in those early morning hours.

After everyone paid their respects and the family cleaned out Lyuba’s apartment, the number of Lyuba photographs in his possession rose dramatically. Yet however much he tried, that last dying day became the only picture of her he could keep in his mind’s eye. He'd try to refresh the picture, but the photos kept reflecting back the same image … something straight out of Munch’s “The Scream.”

For a time, his wife tried re-framing the photos and putting them in contemporary frames: Lyuba as an army nurse, Lyuba on cross country skis, Lyuba on the floor playing with her grandson (the one who would come to take her death bed picture). But the attempt at making the Lyuba Photos look like antique accessories was still misfiring. Now the son couldn't get Lyuba’s last dying year out of his mind, and was beginning to feel guilty about it. Why was this happening?

Falling in Love With Multiple Personalities

To remember Lyuba as a more integrated personality, we decided to co-create a “new and improved” Lyuba. Using the medium of digital photomontage, we'd contain all her former selves in one location! For this I needed all the photos of Lyuba at a certain age (in her 70s and 80s) when she was most likely to be wearing a favorite green pantsuit – a polyester number worn with the same white blouse. We ended up with four full body photos of Lyuba in her green pantsuit: two of Lyuba picking apples in Indiana; one of Lyuba biting her lip as she stands – a bit out of sorts - on a foreign street and another of Lyuba resting her head on her son’s shoulder at her 75th birthday.

The most intriguing part of the photomontage is seeing that Indiana orchard populated with four Lyubas, loving one another in a sisterly, motherly or childlike way. The multiplicity effect is nothing short of stunning because it proves that the root of Lyuba’s more negative, cynical self - and her more naïve, trusting self – no doubt existed some time before her dying days. Ultimately, you can’t help but fall in love with all her multiple personalities.

A friend once sighed how she wished she could capture how funny her mother really was and how much they made each other laugh. Part of what was so sad about her mother’s death at 62 was how close they had become just in the last few years. Now every time she thought of her mother, Marlene couldn’t conjure up the vivacious, funny woman she remembered. She could only see the more recent image of her mother emaciated from cancer.

“It’s as if time collapses,” Marlene would tell me. “Like one of those timelines of earth’s history you see in text books – a yardstick long. Here are these different developments – and then there’s mankind, and it’s infinitesimal!” For Marlene and for many of us, all we ever want is a way to magnify those tiny little ticks on the yardstick we call Life.

People often ask: why in that apple orchard did I decide to drape Lyuba’s arm around a chimpanzee instead of her own son? Here is my answer: magic in symbolism. The year in which Lyuba died was The Year of the Monkey. Tradition has it that monkeys possess the complete opposite extremes of character: foolishness and accountability. “It is because monkeys are most similar to human beings … reflections of man as represented in animal form,'' explains Lee Tae-hee, researcher at the National Folk Museum of Korea.


By making Lyuba’s object of affection a monkey– I am creating a piece of artwork that begs for interpretation. Is Lyuba nurturing those two extreme qualities of foolishness and accountability in herself? Is she deriving sustenance from the chimp, and that’s why she appears in all those incarnations, full of purpose and pep? In therapeutic photomontage, there is a time to keep family in and a time to keep family out, depending on who’s the patient. In this story, it was important to take Lyuba’s multiple selves out on a class outing … and leave the family at home.